off again
There are moments when I feel guilty that I am not better at keeping up with my blog. But then I come to my senses. This blog is for me, when I need it. If I am not writing in it then I must not need it.
I am writing tonight because I am awake 3 hours after taking my meds (extra meds) and in the midst of a hypomanic October. I have chosen to sleep on the couch tonight, not sure why. I know I am off, that my inability to sit in one place for very long is not normal. Considering I usually work all day on the couch rarely getting up. I know it is not “normal” to cry when I cannot figure out what to do. I know it is not “normal” to hardly be able to catch my thoughts, to not be able to work a full day in over a week. And it is not normal to be awake three hours after taking my meds, when usually I am asleep 30 minutes after swallowing my 12th pill.
I can’t figure out if I want to sleep or not. If I want to stay up all night or not. I know I am off. I just do not know how long it will last.
